Apparently, I'm not so hot at this accountability thing. I vowed to blog everyday and instead, I blogged every other day this week. Ah, well. No excuses. It was simply sloth. On to...

The Post

Everything that I've thought about posting today seems boring and irrelevant. So I'll just tell you a funny story from my sister and nephew. They live in CA and I miss them terribly. Not to mention that nephew is three and funny.

Here is the conversation the other day as they wait in traffic caused by a traffic accident:

Nephew: "Mommy, why are we going so slow?"
Mommy: "Because there was an accident."
Pause
Nephew: "Did someone go pee pees?"
Pause
Mommy: "No, not that kind of accident."

I cracked up when I read my sister's email. The mind of a three year-old really does fascinate me. Right now, the biggest accomplishment of the day includes not wetting his pants. So therefore, any accident of any kind gets classified in the "potty training file."

So have a good weekend. May it be accident-free.

Is your family crazy?

If so, I'd love to hear about them. My family is weird. Soap opera weird (though we've never had a family member in a coma).

So make me feel better. Please post ways that your family puts the fun in dys-fun-ctional. It will lessen the feeling of solitude that I get when I hear about the latest trauma or event in my family's life.

Thank you!

I'm glad that's not my job.

My husband makes fun of me, but it's true. I get addicted to celeb news. I check out People on a regular basis and I can't help but watch awards shows just to see who wore the most gorgeous dress.

So today, I was checking out some pics online at People when one particular shot caught my eye. It was a picture of Debra Messing (of Will and Grace fame) with her husband, returning from a vacation. In a photo callout, there is a picture of Debra and husband with Debra wearing the same dress as the larger photo.

The caption mentions something to this effect: "Debra Messing and husband So-and-so returning from vacation; Debra wearing the same dress she wore returning from a vacation a year ago." A YEAR AGO!

Some lackey at the magazine probably has a full time job cataloging photos of celebrities and matching them against the latest shots, trying to figure out how many times they have worn the same outfit.

For me, this person would have an easy job because my wardrobe consists of the same 10 outfits recycled over and over.

This morning, I wore a coat.

Fall came swiftly to Michigan this year. I held out as long as I could, wearing long sleeves and tensing my shoulders, trying to preserve every iota of heat that I could.

But it's no use. This morning, I had to wear a coat.

I love the summer. I hate shoes. I love the beach. I hate defrosting my car. I love ponytails. I hate wool hats. I love sleeveless dresses. I hate coats.

This morning, I wore a coat.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

"Every time I thought I got it made, it seemed the taste was not so sweet."

Everyone goes through change. Sometimes we think it's good. Sometimes we think it's miserable. Sometimes it turns out differently than we thought.

But in the end, it's change. It is different. It is foreign. It is scary.

So pray for those going through change. Pray for their families, their support system. Pray for the cause, the result and the reaction. Pray for the release of fear. Pray for peace.

After yesterday's post, I feel pressure to write something uplifting. Something optimistic and happy. And it's not that I don't have happiness in my life. I just don't feel like talking about it. So I'm going to force myself. Not to be happy, but to talk about happy things.

I had an m&m cookie after lunch today.

I get to spend an hour with my friends after work.

Rain makes things grow.

I wore my cute jacket today.

My husband is sweet.

It could be worse.

I get to go to Ann Arbor on Saturday.

We are having dinner with friends on Friday.

I can get out of bed tomorrow morning.


Okay. Close enough.

the Sun don't shine here no more

I am not a heathen, but I think I understand why ancient cultures worshipped the sun. It really does have amazing characteristics, from the sheer size of it to what it can produce on this earth.

One of the things the sun does is make me happy. Honestly. And to be perfectly honest, I think I'm depressed. It's hard to admit; it's hard to say out loud. But the weather has changed here in dear old West Michigan and I am not the same.

For those of you who struggle with seasonal depression, you...you are the ones who understand. I can't really explain it, but the sun has gone out. And I am afraid that my light is dimming too.

My legs burneth

No, I am not Joan of Arc. I was tortured, however. By the merciless Billy Blanks in the Ultimate Bootcamp Challenge last night.

Have you ever done a million squats, then done a hundred roundhouse kicks? No? I would not recommend it. I work at an office where I sit most of the day. Today, I am getting out of my chair every 30 minutes and walking down the hallway and back simply so my leg muscles do not lock up and trap me in my chair for the next 3 days.

Ah, the joys of working out.

Have a blessed weekend!

The Unexpected: Dinner with Dirty Old Ladies

Our church's pastor and his wife decided to hold dinners at their home once a month or so. It would be a chance to get to know them better, but also to fellowship with others you might not spend time with.

See, the sign-up sheet was formatted so there were different slots. Three slots for those age 18-34, three for 35-45, three slots for 45-55 and so on and so on. This dinner would be a chance for different generations to interact and have fun.

After a lovely dinner, our hostess asked us all to come up with a story that was funny, that had a faith element or that was a favorite story of ours to tell. But it had to be about ourselves.

As the younger folks told their stories, we all chuckled a bit or oohed and aahed as appropriate. But as soon as the 75+ crowd got started, it all went downhill.

I had no idea that these older ladies could be so naughty! Apparently there is a Dutch name that sounds unfortunately close to the f-bomb. These ladies thought it was hilarious, so they dropped that name like it was their jobs.

Tears rolled down my face as these wonderful, gray, wrinkled, shy women brought the house down with their different scenarios that could involve anyone unfortunate enough to be cursed with the aforementioned name.

Even now, I shake my head at the old ladies, cackling in their entertaining glory.

Jack Ridl

Professor for 35 years. Retired now, but never done teaching. I think the best way for me to thank him for his wonderful teaching and friendship is to share my favorite poem that I wrote in his class. A stream of thought on paper, my favorite memory of mornings at his home with Stafford and Bobby Jean.

I would like to stick my feet
in your toaster
Until it announces they are done
with a pop
Emerging nice and hot with golden
brown edges
I would slather them with jelly
and butter.

Blessings to you, Jack, as you "retire."

Love,
Sarah

Mythical Creatures

*If you are under 10 years old or have the maturity of a 10 year old, you may want to turn back now*

We all know them: leprechauns, unicorns, the Easter bunny, the creature in the dryer that steals just one sock in a pair. I would like to introduce a new mythical creature. The Invisible Glasses Smudger.

I'm nearsighted, so I can function most of the time without corrective lenses. But occasionally, I need them when I have to see something far away. I wear dark, somewhat rectangular frames when I drive, when I go to the movies or if I'm ordering from a menu 15 feet away.

Entering Panera Bread today, I kept my glassed on from the car to the restaurant so I could order without squinting for 10 minutes. Somewhere between the car and the menu, the Invisible Glasses Smudger raced over, stuck his fingers on my glasses and ran away.

I swear - I did not touch my glasses. And yet the smudge appeared. So I take off my glasses, wipe them off and sit down to eat. 10 minutes later it happens again. Different smudge, different place, same perpetrator.

Sigh. Next time I wear my glasses, I'm going to bring baby powder along to randomly squirt in the air every time I think the culprit comes by. You don't think the people at Panera will mind, do you?

Tribute

Today marks the 5th anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks. Many people are writing tributes, observing moments of silence and praying for peace.

A part of me wants to spend today just like any other day. I want to live in my little bubble of the world, complaining about the traffic or the weather.

But as I think about what this day really represents, what I really want our world to learn about this day, I change my mind.

I don't want to spend today just like any other. I want to make today better than the day before for just one person. I want to make a person smile. I want to be an example of Jesus's love in this world.

Spread the love.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those who are on time or early and those who are perpetually late.

I am of the former breed and I can't stand it when people are of the latter. However, I have found ways to cope with aforementioned people and I will share these techniques with you now:

If you have access, change all of their clocks ahead 5 (or 10) minutes and don't tell them.
When making plans, purposely tell them that a 7:00 event starts at 6:45.
NEVER expect them to be on time. Then if they are, it will seem like they're early.
If you are leaving the same place with them, strategically set up their path to the door: remove any distractions and set out their shoes and/or coat.
Turn off the ringer on the phone 15 minutes before you leave. If it doesn't ring, they can't answer it.

Hope this lovely tips have helped you and your loved ones. I'd love to hear some other tips as well!

Running Through Target

Labor Day, my husband and I spent the day with our friends Joel and Leslie. On our list of things to do: play Frisbee golf, eat ice cream and go to the beach. Since we only had three Frisbees, we headed to my favorite store in the whole entire world (Target) to get one more.

Now, in case you don't know me, I might as well mention that I am incredibly stubborn. So as we debated on which Frisbee to buy, the subject of who would be buying said Frisbee came up. Being the gracious hostess, I offered to buy the Frisbee (plus, the one I wanted was pink and had a surfer on it and was cool). Leslie felt strongly that she should buy the Frisbee.

Being the stubborn jerk that I am, I ignore Leslie's arguments and just start walking towards the checkout lane to purchase my pink Frisbee. Just when I thought I had found the sneaky solution, Leslie goes flying past, running through Target. So what do I do?

I run after her.

Leslie and I jogged through housewares, ran past the greeting cards and sprinted for the checkout lanes.

Just so you know - I won.

(But ten bucks says Leslie will claim a) I cheated or b) she let me win.) :-)

Not Like Jesus

My husband's work hours are based on the school year, so he gets July and August off. This summer, he's been working for a friend 10a - 6p Monday through Wednesday. So I gave him a To Do List for July and August, since I work 8a - 5p every weekday.

Admittedly not the home improvement type, my husband has struggled with the list a bit. He's much rather be golfing or playing games than replacing floorboards or painting ceilings. Understandable. I would too. But one item on his list was driving me nuts.

The blinds in our living room broke in June. Yes, June. One of the cords that is supposed to hike the blinds up snapped. I have been bugging my husband since June to find a cord replacement. I threatened that if he didn't fix them by the end of Labor Day weekend, I was going to take the blinds down altogether and replace them with drapes.

10:45a my work phone rings. It's the husband. "Um, I know you said you wanted them done by the end of the weekend, but could I have just a couple more days to look around home improvement stores for a replacement cord?"

I just about gave in. I weighed the options and considered giving him a break. Decided against it.

"No."

Husband then says, "Couldn't you just give me a little grace?"

This makes me laugh because I know he's playing the Why aren't you being a good Christian? card.

"No."

He tries one more last-ditch effort to keep the blinds: "You aren't acting very much like Jesus. He gives grace no matter what."

I let that hang in the silence of the telephone wires. Then we both crack up laughing. We both know that he's joking. He wouldn't ever guilt me like that or be so judgmental. So we both laugh at his joke. It's pretty funny.

We have a weird sense of humor.

Inadequate

Things go well. You do it right. Your smile is warm. Your touch is light. Then a wrong move. Your words are wrong. You're still whole. But you're not enough.