Aunt Sarah

I don't want kids. At least, that's how I feel right now. And I think I'll feel that way forever.

There are many reasons. My husband and I have talked about it at length. And we still have plenty of time to change our minds - we're young and could start a family anytime in the next 10 years, I suppose. But I don't think I'll change my mind.

Part of it is selfishness. I like my time. I like deciding what I do when I want to do it. And a nursing baby or a temperamental three-year-old wouldn't take kindly to that mindset.

Part of it is insecurity. To be responsible for a life would scare the jeebies right out of me. I'm pretty sure I would fail, fail miserably, and have one or more humans hate me for the rest of my sorry life.

A big part of it is giving. Right now, I feel like I have a fairly good handle on giving of myself. I give myself to my husband, my job, my friends, my family, etc. I like having extra time and money to use for those who need it. If I bring children to this world, would I stop sponsoring our Compassion kids? Or would diapers eat up the part of our budget that usually goes to Bread for the World? Would I still be able to be the best wife, best aunt, best sister I could be if I devoted my life to a child?

All unknowns. All up to God. But I really feel like he has put me on this earth to be something other than a mother.

Mad Props to Me

Today is Thanksgiving. I am thankful for my family. Especially my sister Amy, who made me run 6.2 miles today.

Yes, I completed my first 10k today. My sister and I ran together the whole time (it was a very, very long time). You can use a lot of metaphors for life - running a 10k being one of them - but I'd rather use my sister as the metaphor.

My sister listens to me complain, cheers me when I accomplish something, and mocks me when I am my most mockable. Isn't this really what life is all about? Taking advantage of moments - from the best to the worst.

Something sad happening in your life? Cry. And cry hard. Something funny going on? Laugh till your belly hurts. Something absolutely stupid? Go ahead and mock it. And mock yourself. Because life is too short to hold yourself back.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Blessing and A Curse

Breasts. Every woman has them. Some have more than others. But I think all women everywhere can resonate with what I'm writing on.

As adolescents, we worried about them. When would we get them? Would boys notice? Would our girlfriends notice? How do I ask my mom to go buy a bra? When we got them, we felt more grown up. Almost proud in a way.

As we grew into our college years, we flaunted them at nightclubs and covered them up for church.

As adults, we nurture our children with them. We bring a child into this world and feed them as no one else can.

Then, they seem to turn on us. And you hear that word you hoped you would never hear:

Cancer

No, I don't have breast cancer. So those of you who know me can breathe a sigh of relief. But my mom is a three year survivor of breast cancer. I still remember those huge moments: finding out my mom had a lump in her latest mammogram. Waiting in the recovery room with her as she came out of the anesthesia from her lumpectomy. Going to a wig store to try to replace her hair with a "lifelike" fake. Sorting through medications, trying to remember which was for nausea every four hours and which was for every 8 hours.

They're a blessing and a curse. Every woman has them. To some, it means giving life. To some, it means potential death.

Please take a moment. For your mother, for your sister, for your friends, for yourself.
www.thebreastcancersite.com
www.koman.org
www.cancer.org

Click for free mammograms. Buy your Christmas presents for the Susan G. Koman Foundation. Or make a donation to the American Cancer Society. Do your part in saving the lives of the women you love.

Rant

*if you hate it when people just complain on their blogs, then you do not want to read this. Seriously. Close your browser now.

I hate Capital One. They suck. I have a No Hassle Miles card and it is anything but. It is the epitome of hassle.

I called in August when I wanted to book a couple of plane tickets. They gave me incorrect information. I called today to redeem my rewards based on said incorrect information. They told me I could not. I told them it was their fault; I booked these tickets specifically because I thought I could use my miles; and please, give me my miles. They said no.

Ugh! I hate Capital One. Their customer service is absurd. I had to call 6 times just to get this all figured out and you know what? IT'S NOT ALL FIGURED OUT! They still screwed me. I'm so mad I'm cancelling my card with them.

No joke. I'm that mad. So if you know me, I would advise not stopping by my office today. I'm royally pissed.

For Leslie

Yes, it has been a while since I posted. No, this is not my big comeback. Perhaps blogging every day was a bit ambitious for me...? I'm not sure; I'll start again after Thanksgiving.

I woke up this morning thinking it was Thursday. Which sucks, cause it's Wednesday. I think I projected Thursday onto this morning because I get to go to California to visit my family on Saturday. So the closer I am to Saturday, the happier I am. Thus, me wanting it to be Thursday.

So. Happy Thursday. Or Wednesday...or whatever.